I’m such a dork…

Zack: “Where’s Mommy?”

Me: “Where’d Mom go? She fled off screaming into the night just to escape you and your brother from driving her insane. Last I heard she was swinging from tree branches and howling at the moon at the top of her lungs. Either that, or she had to go use the bathroom.”

Dad, you're so weird.

Dad, you’re so weird.

Sarcasm is wasted on a four-year old.